Responsibility is not just a way to act; it is a way to view our entire lives. It is a perspective that we can choose to empower us. When we choose to take responsibility, we choose freedom. When you take on the perspective that you created a situation, you can change or modify it, with this realization coming a feeling of power and freedom. However, if you take on the perspective that someone or something else caused the situation, then you have NO ability to change it and you are left feeling powerless and resentful. When we are blaming someone or something else, we are actually giving our power away and putting ourselves in the position of being a victim. When we choose to blame, we choose burden.
• Responsibility = Freedom + Empowerment
• Blame = Loss of Freedom + Dis-empowerment
Our view of the situation appears to be the “truth”. However, by shifting perspective from blame to responsibility, we can alter the “truth” of the situation. We can change the situation from one where we are powerless, to one where we are powerful.
(1) Where in your life you are taking the responsibility?
(2) How did you know you are being responsible? What do those mean to you?
(3) What affect it is having?
(4) Where you are feeling the blame and the situation? What does it make so? What’s the expectation that you are not feeling fulfill? Write down the feeling of making blames?
Blame shows these symptoms, including: (1) point your fingers to someone (2) justification (excuse of reasons of late) form of blame (3) level of shame (energy change). What action will you take (of this responsibility issue)? Become aware of that. How we maintain the “shift”?
The Blame Game
There are many reasons why we blame others for the way things are in our lives. Blame is extremely seductive. When you play the Blame Game, you do not have to take responsibility for your life. Decisions are left up to everyone else. Playing the Blame Game can become addictive. If a person persists in maintaining that someone else is to blame for their problems, this perception can radically distort their view of reality. When we view responsibility as a privilege, instead of as a burden, we are truly awakened to the many possibilities in our lives.
• Always look outside of yourself for those responsible for doing “it” to you.
• Believe that you are powerless to change anything.
• Accept that others are stronger, smarter and more resourceful than you.
How to stop playing the Blame Game
• Know that no one can make you feel anything without your permission.
• Understand that responsibility is a privilege and start becoming responsible for yourself.
• Accept that you are human and will make mistakes and this is okay.
• Realize that not making a choice is making a choice.
Letting go of blame often involves forgiveness. Forgiving simply means that we let go and embrace the present. When we forgive someone, we release ourselves, and free ourselves from the burden of blame.
Before you can end the Blame Game you have to learn NOT to blame yourself. Unwittingly, parents, teachers and others in authority can mentor us into the Blame Game. However we got into this habit, our desire to avoid feeling bad or wrong, makes us look around for other things or people to blame. Responsibility is about accepting that you have choices ahead of you in the future. Your past choices are gone.
When something goes wrong, the Blame Game offers us three options:
• We are bad and wrong, or
• Someone else is bad or wrong, or
• The situation is out of our control.
When we are choosing responsibility we use different language to when we are blaming. This helps us to start even the most difficult conversations. When we take responsibility we use “I” language. We let the other person know how we feel and what we are thinking. We avoid blaming them for how we feel or think.
Letting Go and Moving On When we are choosing responsibility we let go of anger. There is no need for anger when you have the power to change the situation that you are in.